kaolin fire presents :: writing :: fiction

"play-endstatements"

words

Hi Kaolin! Here's the "Final Statement" for any actor accused in our play! Jill!



STATEMENT AT END OF PLAY: ONE PER CHARACTER

STATEMENT FROM CARRIE FACTS

I did it- but I didn’t do it! Let me set the facts out for you. I RUINED the book- that Precious book- But I did NOT steal it! Why, it’s right here in the library. I hid it under the unopened Friends boxes.

I was going to steal it but it was for a good cause. You all know I have a wonderful pet gerbil named Porky. Porky was a good and faithful pet. He carried his toy mouse to me and he squeaked with happiness whenever I petted him. You couldn’t have asked for a more faithful friend. He always ate well and was so healthy- he got up to 3 pounds, he did!

But then, he started wasting away. He bacame just a shadow of his former self. I took him to the local vet who gave me the terrible news that Porky had a brain tumor. Well! You can just imagine how I felt. TOTALLY devestated.

I would have done anything to save poor Porky. The vet said my only hope was to take him to the specialists at the Sloan-Kettering Veterinary Hospital in New York City. I was determined to take him there, Why, you would do no less for your gerbil, I’m sure. But the specialists said they would charge five thousand dollars to perform the delicate brain surgery that Porky needed so desperately. I just had to get that money. When I saw that rare book, I became determined to save Porky’s life, even if I had to RUIN my own.

Well. I stayed after when we were closing up. I climbed into the crawl space above the tiles in the women’s bathroom and stayed there until I was sure everyone had left. Then I climbed down. The book looked so interesting, I started reading it. I ate some candy- I guess I didn’t notice I dropped some of the wrappers near the display table. I hurriedly plugged in the expresso machine to have some expresso while I was reading. I guess I was so exhausted from worrying about Porky that I forgot to put in the water, so after the machine overheated, it exploded into bits! What a mess! I threw the broken expresso machine into the garbage. But the worst of it was that the book was soaked in coffee, so it was worthless. I just felt terrible. I tried my best to wipe off all the coffee from the book, but it still looked pretty bad. So I hid the book and walked out. I had forgotten the alarm was set, so when I opened the door, the alarm started ringing. I panicked and rushed home in my car. And I certainly do feel punished already- when I arrived home, poor Porky was dead as a doornail. Oh my poor Porky.

I am truly sorry, And looking at the book now, it does not look too bad now that it is dry. Please do forgive me!









STATEMENT FROM ANGELA STORYTELLER

I ruined the book! I am so Guilty! But I did not Steal it! It’s here in the library. I hid it in the potted plant!

I WAS going to steal it. As you ALL know by now (looks darkly at Carrie Facts) I am behind in my house payments. When I saw the book, I thought, This is the answer. I can sell it and save my house. I stayed behind when we were closing up. I hid in the women’s bathroom until I was sure everyone was gone. I picked up the book to take it, but it looked so interesting, I started reading it. I ate some candy- I guess I didn’t notice I dropped the candy wrappers on the floor. I plugged in the expresso machine to have expresso while I finished reading the book. But- my stars- I forgot to put water in and the machine overheated and exploded all over the place. Including on that rare book. I tried to clean the book off, but it didn’t look too good. So I hid the book in the potted plant, and rushed out. I had forgotten the alarm was on so I set it off the minute I opened the door. I shut the door but it did not turn the alarm off. Well, I panicked and rushed home in my car.

But now-looking at the book again- once you brush off the leaves and the dirt, it looks pretty good! And I’ll pay for the broken expresso machine. I hope you can all forgive me. I have TOTALLY learned my lesson. Next time, I will listen to my Horoscope!



STATEMENT FROM PEARL OVERDUE

I did it but I didn’t do it! I am so sorry I ruined that book. But I did NOT steal it. Why, it’s right here in the library. I hid it under the unopened Friends boxes.

I was GOING to steal it. As you all know, my debts just keep rising and I just can’t seem to make ends meet. My paycheck just doesn’t stretch far enough, and I hate to deprive my children and my grandchildren. When I saw the book, I thought, this is the answer. I can sell it and pay off most of my bills. I stayed behind when we were closing up. I climbed up into the crawl space above the tiles in the women’s bathroom and stayed there until I heard everyone leave. Then I climbed down. The book just looked so fascinating, though, I picked it up and started reading it. It was so exciting, I could not put it down. I ate some candy- I guess I did not notice I dropped some of the wrappers near the display table. And I hurriedly plugged in the expresso machine to have expresso while I read the book. I guess I was just so plumb tired, I forgot to put in the water, so after the expresso machine got hot enough, it exploded to bits. What a mess! I had to hide the broken expresso machine in the garbage. But the worst thing was that it just soaked that precious book. I just felt terrible. I thought it was of no use to me or anyone else, after that. I tried to wipe off all the coffee from the book, but it still looked bad. So I hid the book and walked out. I had forgotten that the alarm was already set, so when I opened the door, I set the alarm off. I shut the door but that did not stop the alarm. Well, I just panicked and rushed home in my car. You know, looking at the book now, it doesn’t look so bad, now it has dried out! I hope you can all forgive me. I will never try to steal anything ever again. I have learned my lesson and I am truly sorry.







STATEMENT FROM GWENDOLYN FRIENDLY

Let me explain exactly what happened. I DAMAGED the book. But I Never tried to STEAL it! Why, it’s right here in the Library. I hid it under the unopened Friends boxes.

I was in the bathroom when the library was closing up. I did not intend to get locked in. But when I walked out of the bathroom, everyone was gone! It felt very calm and peaceful. I turned on the lights to figure out what I should do next, when I noticed that famous book. I had heard about it from my parents and their parents, but I had never read it. I thought- I’m not hurting anyone, I’ll just sit here awhile and read the book. It was so exciting, I could not put it down. I ate some candy- I guess I did not notice I dropped some of the wrappers near the display table. And I hurriedly plugged in the expresso machine to have expresso while I read the book. I guess I forgot to put in the water. After the expresso machine got hot, it exploded to bits. What a mess! I tried to clean everything up. Then I threw away the broken expresso machine in the garbage. I figured I’d just donate a newer, better one. But the worst thing was that it just soaked that precious book. I felt terrible. I tried to wipe off all the coffee from the book, but it just looked awful. So I hid the book and walked out. When I opened the door, I set the alarm off. I shut the door but that did not stop the alarm. I panicked and rushed home in my car. I hope you can all forgive me. I am truly sorry. But looking at the book, it doesn’t look SO bad, now it has dried out!

STATEMENT FROM LUIGI CLEANMAN

You’ve caught me fair and square. I ruined the book. But I did NOT steal it. Itsa right here, in the library. I hid it in the big file cabinet. I was GOING to steal it. Me, Luigi Cleanman! Why, you ask? Because I, Luigi, am a great author. I write mysteries under a pen name. But does anyone want to PUBLISH my great novels? NO! I hear you ask, How can that be, Luigi? It is a Grave injustice. I spend ALL my money publishing my great books. Here I am surrounded by authors not half so good - but no one will publish MY masterpieces. When I saw the book, I thought, this is the answer. I can sell it and pay off all the bills I have for publishing MY books. I stayed behind when we were closing up. I climbed up into the crawl space above the tiles in the men’s bathroom and stayed there until I heard everyone leave. Then I climbed down. I picked the book up, and I just started reading it. It was a good book. I ate some candy- I guess I did not notice I dropped some of the wrappers near the display table. And I plugged in the expresso machine to have expresso while I read the book. I guess I was just so tired, I forgot to put in the water, so when the expresso machine got hot, it exploded to bits. What a mess! I had to hide the broken expresso machine in the garbage. But the worst thing was that it soaked that book. I felt terrible. I tried to wipe off all the coffee from the book, but it still looked bad. So I hid the book and walked out. I had forgotten that the alarm was already set, so when I opened the door, I set the alarm off. I shut the door but that did not stop the alarm. Well, I just panicked and I rushed home in my car. You know, looking at the book now, it doesn’t look so bad, now it has dried out! I hope you can all forgive me. I will never try to steal anything ever again. I have learned my lesson and I am truly sorry.

STATEMENT FROM LYDIA BINDER I did it but I didn’t do it! I DAMAGED the book. But I did not STEAL it! Why, it’s right here in the Library. I hid it under the unopened Friends boxes. I was GOING to steal it. You have no idea how CUT-THROAT the bookselling business is. I was losing my shirt. I thought- I could make a big score with this one book. It could set me up for life. Maybe I could open a chain of bookstores next.

When the library was closing. I climbed up into the crawl space above the tiles in the women’s bathroom until I heard everyone leave. Then I climbed down. The book just looked so fascinating, though, I picked it up and started reading it. It was so exciting, I could not put it down. I ate some candy- I guess I did not notice I dropped some of the wrappers near the display table. I plugged in the expresso machine to have expresso while I read the book. I guess I was just in such emotional turmoil, I forgot to put in the water. After the expresso machine got hot, it exploded to bits. What a mess! I had to hide the broken expresso machine in the garbage. But the worst thing was that it just soaked that precious book, so it was WORTHLESS. I just felt terrible. It was of no use to me or to my eager client or to anyone else. I tried to wipe off all the coffee from the book, but it just looked awful. So I hid the book and walked out. When I opened the door, I set the alarm off. I shut the door but that did not stop the alarm. I panicked and rushed home in my car. I hope you can all forgive me. I am truly sorry. But looking at the book, it doesn’t look SO bad, now it has dried out! Hey! If you ever decide you do want to sell it, just give me a call!